Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Dragons

For those of you that don't know me [Cami] well, and I mean really well, you may not guess that I love to read children's books. Books like the Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, and the occasional piece of childish sci-fi mind candy that my sister throws my direction. I'm not sure why exactly, but the simplicity of these kinds of books tend to really drive home good messages for me (the obvious reason, of course, is that I actually am a child, which is the most likely solution).
A while back I came across a poem written by A.A. Milne, the author of all the Winnie-the-Pooh books. This poem was in a collection titled, "Now we are Six", by which I can safely assume that he wrote the collection for six yr olds', which seems to be about my level. It goes like this:
KNIGHT IN ARMOUR

Whenever I'm a shining Knight,
I buckle on my armour tight;
And then I look about for things,
Like Rushings-Out, and Rescuings,
And fighting all the Dragons there.
And sometimes when our fights begin,
I think I'll let the Dragons win ...
And then I think perhaps I won't,
Because they're Dragons, and I don't.
A.A. Milne
Now We Are Six


Something about the brilliance and the simplicity of this poem echos in my soul. As a six year-old I had dragons that I would fight, and now as a 24 yr. old I still have dragons that I fight. And, on top of that, both then and now I have the occasional, or not-so-occasional, strong urge to give up fighting, and to let the "dragons" win. As I was re-reading this poem tonight I realized that I will admit to having dragons, but I have never really tried to sit down and think through what they actually are. What is it that I'm afraid of? What makes me insecure? What keeps me from pursuing the things that I want, and the things that the Lord wants me to be?

I realized that there is a lot of doubt in me. I doubt that I am up to the task the Lord has put before me. I doubt that I have the talent or the skill set needed to pull off any kind of outdoor ministry. I'm not confident that I am who YHWH says that I am.

This six yr. old poem also reminds me that I am not who I want to be. That I am not finished growing...and that after all, I can't let the dragons win because ...well...because they are dragons! "Childish" truths seem to be the purest form of truth, and the form that I need to be reminded of most often.