Sometimes it seems that things change behind your back.
You've been busy working on some other project in some separate corner of your life, and when you return, nothing looks the same.
In many ways, that is the value of a blog. It lets you sit down and think to yourself, "hmmm...what has happened since the last time that I wrote?" It forces you to notice the changes, to become aware of the things that so quickly become routine.
Since we last posted (I use the royal we, since I - Cami - haven't posted in probably over a year) school has started, Oscar has moved out, and the baby room is beginning to take shape.
School is always a handful. As much as we plan and prepare beforehand, it seems that the game is always changing seconds before kickoff. This year, we changed the schedule to make it possible for 3 teachers to teach 12 classes and constantly supervise 35 kids. Then, after a week of classes, one of the teachers decides that he doesn't want to work with unmotivated kids anymore, and quits....via text message...15 minutes before the beginning of school. I'm not sure what your momma taught you, but if she didn't teach you how to quit properly, call her up and ask her how it's done. You should know. Really...
So now we get to figure out how 2 teachers, with some administrators helping out, can handle the school. That will be interesting.
Oscar left. We made an agreement that he wanted to be treated like an adult and pay rent, $50/month, to live here. He hasn't paid in 3 months, moreover, he decided that he wasn't interested in paying or working something out for it. It seems that he had gotten tired of trying to become a new man. He stopped coming to church, stopped visiting his baby momma, and baby, and would drive down to South Central to hang out rather than look for work.
Since leaving about a week ago, we did see Oscar at church this Sunday. He seems to be doing okay, and seems less hardened than he was a week earlier. The Lord doesn't give up on His kids. That's one of the ways I really want to be more like Him. Never giving up. Being just, being merciful, being strict, being gracious. I feel like I can't hold on to all of those. Like I'm trying to juggle them and can only hold on to 2 while I'm throwing the other 4 around. Ah, how unsearchable His wisdom, how far my thoughts and ways are from His.
Baby room. This is Deidre's new passion. She is the definition of a pregnant nest-er. We have been to IKEA twice in the last 2 days. We've put up curtains, assembled bookcases, arranged stuffed animals, and organized parts of the house that I haven't seen in months. I didn't know that the nesting carried over into other areas of the house as well; found that out the hard way. I'll have to bring my "A" game to all my household chores for the next couple of months :)
The baby room is starting to look like a room, which is a big first step for us, seeing as how it used to be part of the dining room. We'll have to put up some pictures when we get a chance. I'm sure that all the die-hard fans that have read this far are going to be interested in seeing what we've got. I must say that Ro inspired the dividers, which look good (lil' shout out to the homey Ro). The dividers are ceiling to floor length curtains, which are definitely Lily's favorite part of the house right now. She's taken to curling up on them.
On a separate, ending note. Deidre and I were thinking about applying for WIC. I'm not sure if I'm a fan of WIC or not. Government welfare vs. going it on our own. We definitely qualify financially for it. Just not sure if we qualify morally. Free money? Responsibility? Anyway, we'd love some feedback and advice if you've got any.
Cheers
C & D
Monday, January 18, 2010
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Oscar (continued)
Oscar was in the program from April to September 2008. Although he did not finish the program, Oscar did begin a relationship with Jesus Christ and got a taste of life outside of the 'hood. It is typically our policy to require 6 months to pass before students who did not graduate the program to enroll in DC Academy. However, when Oscar showed up in Robert's office this last January an exception was made (Robert is our boss and the director of the program). About five weeks after enrolling Oscar turned 18 and received a large sum of money from his mom's life insurance policy. As a result, a bunch of drama ensued with his father and Oscar was again homeless. At school we noticed a significant change in Oscar. He was less motivated, rarely attended and nearly gave up on school entirely. On one of the rare occasions when he did attend, Cami discovered that Oscar was living with drug dealers because he had no other options. So Cami offered our home.
About a month later, Oscar and his girlfriend decided it was time to tell her parents that she was pregnant. That was a long emotional night that left Oscar feeling alone and worthless. About two weeks later he called Cami. Oscar sat down in our living room and told us he was tired of being a "low life". He was ready to change, but knew it wouldn't happen in the 'hood and asked for our help. He wanted to live with people that would make him go to church and help him make good decisions. He wanted to be around the Dream Center, because this was the only place he had experienced hope before. Before even talking to him, Cami and I already knew the Lord was asking us to take him in, so he move in that night.
It has been an interesting 6 months so far, full of joy, hope, frustration, discouragement and trials. There is too much to sum up in a story, so here are a few highlights:
1. Oscar's son Ryan was born 11 weeks early on Tuesday, August 11th around 9:15 am (the second day of the semester for us). Ryan was released from the hospital in late September and is doing great!
2. Shortly after Ryan was born Oscar discovered that his papers expired, so he is not a legal resident and unable to work. Luckily Immigration understands that a teenager is not likely to stay on top of such legal matters, so he has not been deported. Rather he gathered papers to prove he has been residing here in the States and is now just waiting on the money he needs to get his papers reinstated.
3. Oscar has court dates due to driving without a license. Since moving in with us, he has started to attend those rather than just try to hide from the system. He is courageously taking the first steps in taking care of his past mistakes!
4. He started attending a local high school for teen parents, but unfortunately quit going around the end of November.
5. He has found another ministry, Homeboy Industries, that is willing to give him work until he becomes legal and then they will help him get another job.
6. On the night that I started the first blog about Oscar he walked out of Homeboy to discover some of his old gang members waiting by his car. They convince him to drive down to the 'hood and get 'jumped out' (a common gang practice of beating on the "traitor" for a specified amount of time and then just leaving them there to suffer on the street). To Oscar's advantage, some of his 'friends' were there and held the group back a little, so no major damage was done. Unfortunately, the head dog informed Oscar that "the hood is for life" and that it doesn't matter what he has done, they still expect him to run missions. Although it wasn't the smartest choice, we do recognize that it was a courageous one and an attempt at leaving the past behind.
7. One time while reading the Bible together Cami asked Oscar to summarize what he had just read. Oscar began to recap the story by saying that Jesus was around people who make pants. "Make pants," Cami asked. To which Oscar responded, "The Levites." :)
There is probably so much more to tell, but those are a few of the things that stand out. As you think of us and Oscar here are a few things to keep in mind:
~ He struggles to make the tough decisions because he has never had to before.
~ We often have to convince him to stay, that he is worth the effort as Oscar would rather quit and submit to the lie that says he will always be a lowlife.
~ Cami and I are not experienced in all of this. We want to be Christ's hands and feet to Oscar, but we don't want to rescue him either. We are doing our best to teach him to stand on his own two feet, but he has never had to before and there are people in his life offering to carry him.
Well that is probably enough for today. Thanks for reading! And if you have any questions that I may have aroused, please ask. I love to share our story and Oscar's.
Also, Ro (Cami's older sister) has encouraged me to share some of my musing about living here in LA doing what we do. So you can expect some of that soon, rather than just stories.
Thanks again for reading!!!!
About a month later, Oscar and his girlfriend decided it was time to tell her parents that she was pregnant. That was a long emotional night that left Oscar feeling alone and worthless. About two weeks later he called Cami. Oscar sat down in our living room and told us he was tired of being a "low life". He was ready to change, but knew it wouldn't happen in the 'hood and asked for our help. He wanted to live with people that would make him go to church and help him make good decisions. He wanted to be around the Dream Center, because this was the only place he had experienced hope before. Before even talking to him, Cami and I already knew the Lord was asking us to take him in, so he move in that night.
It has been an interesting 6 months so far, full of joy, hope, frustration, discouragement and trials. There is too much to sum up in a story, so here are a few highlights:
1. Oscar's son Ryan was born 11 weeks early on Tuesday, August 11th around 9:15 am (the second day of the semester for us). Ryan was released from the hospital in late September and is doing great!
2. Shortly after Ryan was born Oscar discovered that his papers expired, so he is not a legal resident and unable to work. Luckily Immigration understands that a teenager is not likely to stay on top of such legal matters, so he has not been deported. Rather he gathered papers to prove he has been residing here in the States and is now just waiting on the money he needs to get his papers reinstated.
3. Oscar has court dates due to driving without a license. Since moving in with us, he has started to attend those rather than just try to hide from the system. He is courageously taking the first steps in taking care of his past mistakes!
4. He started attending a local high school for teen parents, but unfortunately quit going around the end of November.
5. He has found another ministry, Homeboy Industries, that is willing to give him work until he becomes legal and then they will help him get another job.
6. On the night that I started the first blog about Oscar he walked out of Homeboy to discover some of his old gang members waiting by his car. They convince him to drive down to the 'hood and get 'jumped out' (a common gang practice of beating on the "traitor" for a specified amount of time and then just leaving them there to suffer on the street). To Oscar's advantage, some of his 'friends' were there and held the group back a little, so no major damage was done. Unfortunately, the head dog informed Oscar that "the hood is for life" and that it doesn't matter what he has done, they still expect him to run missions. Although it wasn't the smartest choice, we do recognize that it was a courageous one and an attempt at leaving the past behind.
7. One time while reading the Bible together Cami asked Oscar to summarize what he had just read. Oscar began to recap the story by saying that Jesus was around people who make pants. "Make pants," Cami asked. To which Oscar responded, "The Levites." :)
There is probably so much more to tell, but those are a few of the things that stand out. As you think of us and Oscar here are a few things to keep in mind:~ He struggles to make the tough decisions because he has never had to before.
~ We often have to convince him to stay, that he is worth the effort as Oscar would rather quit and submit to the lie that says he will always be a lowlife.
~ Cami and I are not experienced in all of this. We want to be Christ's hands and feet to Oscar, but we don't want to rescue him either. We are doing our best to teach him to stand on his own two feet, but he has never had to before and there are people in his life offering to carry him.
Well that is probably enough for today. Thanks for reading! And if you have any questions that I may have aroused, please ask. I love to share our story and Oscar's.
Also, Ro (Cami's older sister) has encouraged me to share some of my musing about living here in LA doing what we do. So you can expect some of that soon, rather than just stories.
Thanks again for reading!!!!
So I guess it is about time..........
I introduce you all to Oscar :) But before I do I want to make a few notes:
1. Sorry I did not post last week and am late this week - Cami has been working every night on a business proposal, requiring full use of the computer hence the lack of blogs. As for the business proposal, you will all have to wait to know more about that - sorry, but Cami will fill you in soon. It is worthy of its own blog and he will do such a better job explaining it.
2. It is the last week of the semester!!!! And there are 3 things I want to highlight about that:
A)We are so excited for a much needed vacation (which we get to spend with Cami's family in Japan!), but there is still a lot of work to be done in the next three days.
B) End of the semester at DC Academy often means loss of staff, and this time is no exception. We are losing 3 teachers and our secretary. Leaving Mr. and Mrs. Potter. That's right, we will be the only returning staff :) God has already filled 2 (maybe 3) of those positions, but we have been functioning spent this entire semester being short staffed. We can function if those positions get filled, but it would be nice to be fully staffed (again, another topic worthy of its own blog).
C) We tried a new algebra track this semester and I am proud to report that is was an astounding success!! I taught a regular Algebra 1A class, while Cami taught a class that teaches the same material, but is paced to take the entire school year (it contains a lot of review as well). In years past very few students ever passed Algebra, close to 30%. This semester, we are looking at a success rate of nearly 90%. Needless to say, we are very pleased.
He was born in El Salvador, but his family moved to South Central Los Angeles when he was still in grade school. For those of you who don't know, South Central is one of the worst parts of LA, completely overrun by gang activity. A lot changed for Oscar at age 14. In addition to starting his high school career at Crenshaw High (known worldwide for its gang activity and failure in the classroom), his mother lost her battle with cancer. While grieving the loss of his mother, he was also fearing for his own life every time he entered the school building. Although he was able to lay low in the 'hood, many dangers faced him at school. He is small and way too trusting. One day, out of fear for his life, he took a knife to school which not only got him in trouble with the administration, but also caused several gangs to start pressuring to claim a side. For the sake of protection, Oscar picked a side and joined the gang that occupied the blocks closest to his house.
At age 17, after failing to complete any high school credits and getting kicked out by his dad because he had been running missions for the gang, Oscar found himself homeless and in the office of his school counselor. She happened to be an old colleague of our boss Robert and recommended DC Teen Discipleship. Both Oscar and his dad agreed it was the best choice and Oscar was in the program within a few days, despite a 3 month waiting list.
That is when we met Oscar.......
To be continued (it was getting really long, but I will post soon I promise)
1. Sorry I did not post last week and am late this week - Cami has been working every night on a business proposal, requiring full use of the computer hence the lack of blogs. As for the business proposal, you will all have to wait to know more about that - sorry, but Cami will fill you in soon. It is worthy of its own blog and he will do such a better job explaining it.
2. It is the last week of the semester!!!! And there are 3 things I want to highlight about that:
A)We are so excited for a much needed vacation (which we get to spend with Cami's family in Japan!), but there is still a lot of work to be done in the next three days.
B) End of the semester at DC Academy often means loss of staff, and this time is no exception. We are losing 3 teachers and our secretary. Leaving Mr. and Mrs. Potter. That's right, we will be the only returning staff :) God has already filled 2 (maybe 3) of those positions, but we have been functioning spent this entire semester being short staffed. We can function if those positions get filled, but it would be nice to be fully staffed (again, another topic worthy of its own blog).
C) We tried a new algebra track this semester and I am proud to report that is was an astounding success!! I taught a regular Algebra 1A class, while Cami taught a class that teaches the same material, but is paced to take the entire school year (it contains a lot of review as well). In years past very few students ever passed Algebra, close to 30%. This semester, we are looking at a success rate of nearly 90%. Needless to say, we are very pleased.
And finally Oscar
He was born in El Salvador, but his family moved to South Central Los Angeles when he was still in grade school. For those of you who don't know, South Central is one of the worst parts of LA, completely overrun by gang activity. A lot changed for Oscar at age 14. In addition to starting his high school career at Crenshaw High (known worldwide for its gang activity and failure in the classroom), his mother lost her battle with cancer. While grieving the loss of his mother, he was also fearing for his own life every time he entered the school building. Although he was able to lay low in the 'hood, many dangers faced him at school. He is small and way too trusting. One day, out of fear for his life, he took a knife to school which not only got him in trouble with the administration, but also caused several gangs to start pressuring to claim a side. For the sake of protection, Oscar picked a side and joined the gang that occupied the blocks closest to his house.At age 17, after failing to complete any high school credits and getting kicked out by his dad because he had been running missions for the gang, Oscar found himself homeless and in the office of his school counselor. She happened to be an old colleague of our boss Robert and recommended DC Teen Discipleship. Both Oscar and his dad agreed it was the best choice and Oscar was in the program within a few days, despite a 3 month waiting list.
That is when we met Oscar.......
To be continued (it was getting really long, but I will post soon I promise)
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
3rd Annual Whaley/Potter Thanksgiving
We spent this Thanksgiving weekend in the home of our dear friends Jason and Hannah. They were so welcoming and hospitable - we spent three days relaxing, playing games, have great fellowship and, of course, eating TONS of delicious food. I wish I had pictures to show you all the gourmet dishes Hannah made for us. She loves to bake and we love to eat everything she makes. This was Oscar's first "white" Thanksgiving, so he was especially delighted by all the food. It was a wonderful time full of great fellowship.
As is our tradition, we all went for a hike the day after Thanksgiving. We did Carr Canyon, a hike near their home that is 6 miles round trip, to the top of the peak pictured on the left.
As is our tradition, we all went for a hike the day after Thanksgiving. We did Carr Canyon, a hike near their home that is 6 miles round trip, to the top of the peak pictured on the left.
Everyone showing off their pregnant tummies
(Hannah 32 weeks, me 18 and the other two are just full of turkey and other deliciousness)
(Hannah 32 weeks, me 18 and the other two are just full of turkey and other deliciousness)
This was Oscar's first "white" Thanksgiving and he definitely enjoyed all the wonderful food traditions :)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
A Day on the Mountain
This Saturday Cami was able to take his first "Adventure Institute" trip. The Adventure Institute is something my husband has been dreaming about and planning for quite some time. It will one day be a non-profit organization combining at-risk youth with transformative outdoor experiences. But for now, it is day long excursions with select students designed to build Cami's understanding of the adventures available around LA, get our students out of the city and simply keep my husband sane (he needs his nature!!).
So here are a few pictures from the adventure
Oscar all suited up for the morning mountain air
Andrew and Yesenia (Mary's younger sister)
And the view!! The team hiked to the treeline on Mt. Baldy. Maybe next time they will summit!
And of course, the love of my life!!! Isn't he so hot!
So here are a few pictures from the adventure
Oscar all suited up for the morning mountain air
Andrew and Yesenia (Mary's younger sister)
And the view!! The team hiked to the treeline on Mt. Baldy. Maybe next time they will summit!
And of course, the love of my life!!! Isn't he so hot!P.S. Sorry I am a day late, we were at work late last night trying to fix computer problems :(
Monday, November 16, 2009
16 on the 16th
First, let me update you on what happened with the story I told you last week . So our former student Ana came over on Wednesday to get some math tutoring and told us that here dad's boss had posted his $20,000 bail Tuesday morning. Once out, Ana's dad tracked down all the necessary paperwork and was informed that he was wrongfully charged. He had been locked up for vehicular fraud (fraudulent tags) but it turns out the cops who arrested him were not very thorough in their investigation and he should not have been arrested. Furthermore, they forced him to leave his 17 year-old son David stranded at the airport. David had just home returned from two months helping relatives in Mexico.
The worst part about it all is that Amy and here siblings grew up in the inner-city of LA, a community that breeds hatred for law enforcement. Ana and her siblings already struggle with trusting cops, feeling like they are always out to get them. While standing at the airport David said to me, "I hope this just teaches [dad] that all pigs (i.e. cops) are bad." Why are they the ones who have to been hastily charged and treated so poorly? At least there dad is free again.
Now for the title.......16 weeks that is. Today I am officially 16 weeks pregnant with our first child (40% of the way wooo whooo!!) Luckily I was spared from morning sickness and have rarely experienced any side effects - that just makes it harder to believe that I am actually pregnant. But my emotions have been a little unusual as of late.....let's hope that is pregnancy related :)
And here is a picture of our other addition: Oscar - he joined our family back in April and is a real delight to have around. You can expect to discover more of his story in future posts.
For those who have been asking, there is not really much of a baby bump to capture yet, so no pregnancy pictures for now.
The worst part about it all is that Amy and here siblings grew up in the inner-city of LA, a community that breeds hatred for law enforcement. Ana and her siblings already struggle with trusting cops, feeling like they are always out to get them. While standing at the airport David said to me, "I hope this just teaches [dad] that all pigs (i.e. cops) are bad." Why are they the ones who have to been hastily charged and treated so poorly? At least there dad is free again.
Now for the title.......16 weeks that is. Today I am officially 16 weeks pregnant with our first child (40% of the way wooo whooo!!) Luckily I was spared from morning sickness and have rarely experienced any side effects - that just makes it harder to believe that I am actually pregnant. But my emotions have been a little unusual as of late.....let's hope that is pregnancy related :)
And here is a picture of our other addition: Oscar - he joined our family back in April and is a real delight to have around. You can expect to discover more of his story in future posts.
For those who have been asking, there is not really much of a baby bump to capture yet, so no pregnancy pictures for now.
Monday, November 9, 2009
A Night with the Potters
In light of the fact that our blog has suffered gross neglect recently, I set a goal this weekend. Every Monday I am going to update our blog and if there is no new news on the Potter front, I will just highlight one of our students. So today comes, the first day and my intentions are good. After work I would make dinner, enjoy a leisurely meal with my family, go grocery shopping and then update the blog before reading a little and catching some z's.
But this is how my night went:
Dinner was thrown together quickly and my husband ended up eating in the car. He had to stay late at work to help search all the boys because rumor was one of them had an ounce of weed, but he left before he heard the outcome of the search because we had to be at our boss's house by 6 to watch their toddler and 4 foster children. After an eventful dinner with them, we headed straight for the grocery store still thinking the rest of the night would play out like planned. Cami, Oscar and I had a lot of fun at the grocery store and were all giggles on the way home until we got a call from one of our former students Ana. Her dad had just been arrested, leaving her younger brother and van stranded at the airport. So we quickly dropped off our groceries (couldn't let the milk spoil) then picked up Ana and her mom and drove to LAX. By the time we got there they had taken her dad away. So the ladies headed to the police station with the police and we took David (who had just returned from Mexico) home. Then I dropped Oscar and Cami off at home to work on English homework and hit the road again. Ana and her mom are now safely back at their homes and I have just returned to mine at 11:27 pm.
So I am still writing on the blog (I just set the goal two days ago, I can't compromise already) but I think the Potter update will have to wait until another day. It is way past my bedtime.
P.S. I do have a softball sized parasite growing in my lower abdomen. But more on that later.
But this is how my night went:
Dinner was thrown together quickly and my husband ended up eating in the car. He had to stay late at work to help search all the boys because rumor was one of them had an ounce of weed, but he left before he heard the outcome of the search because we had to be at our boss's house by 6 to watch their toddler and 4 foster children. After an eventful dinner with them, we headed straight for the grocery store still thinking the rest of the night would play out like planned. Cami, Oscar and I had a lot of fun at the grocery store and were all giggles on the way home until we got a call from one of our former students Ana. Her dad had just been arrested, leaving her younger brother and van stranded at the airport. So we quickly dropped off our groceries (couldn't let the milk spoil) then picked up Ana and her mom and drove to LAX. By the time we got there they had taken her dad away. So the ladies headed to the police station with the police and we took David (who had just returned from Mexico) home. Then I dropped Oscar and Cami off at home to work on English homework and hit the road again. Ana and her mom are now safely back at their homes and I have just returned to mine at 11:27 pm.
So I am still writing on the blog (I just set the goal two days ago, I can't compromise already) but I think the Potter update will have to wait until another day. It is way past my bedtime.
P.S. I do have a softball sized parasite growing in my lower abdomen. But more on that later.
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