Inspired Toward Faithfulness

For the last couple of months I have found myself in a rather discouraged stage. Cami and I moved down here because we felt the Lord tell us it was time to pursue our dreams. But I am still just waiting tables. Now I am thankful for my job at the California Pizza Kitchen (CPK) - it pays the bills, but it is not exactly what I would call my dream.

As many of you know I spent the last two years in Portland waiting tables. Although I really enjoyed the people I worked with (and miss them immensely), I did not really like my job. I mean, I am an educated woman with passions and a desire to transform the world. I have big dreams, dreams much bigger than being a waitress. But I knew that the Lord had me there for a reason and a time - I had a purpose to fulfill. Yet even with that peace, I was elated when the Lord released me from my time at Stanfords. He prompted Cami and I to move in to LA to pursue our dreams. Finally I was gonna impact lives and do what I long to - I was moving so that I could become a teacher in the inner city. Now as you know, we didn't have any jobs set in stone when we left, we were still waiting on some paperwork to come through before we could apply, but the need is great and everyone we talked to said we would be hired in no time.

No time . . . it has been some time now and still not even an interview. I have been amazed at the ways pursuing this dream has been hindered. Through it all I began to ask the Lord if I was ever gonna get to do what I was designed to do, or maybe my destiny is to be a waitress. In moments of defeat I almost believed that lie, but deep inside I knew that God created me for more. Through my wrestlings with the Lord I realized that I still had lessons to learn before I could step into the classroom, not sure what those lessons were, but sure that was part of the reason I was not yet teaching. And this last Tuesday the Lord opened my eyes to one of those lessons.

On my drive to work I called a dear friend of mine. Tuesday was a day of great transition for her so I was calling to check in, little did I know I would hang up the phone convicted and inspired. This friend of mine also waits tables. However, she will be leaving in less than three weeks. As we talked about life she told me of how the Lord has burdened her heart for the people she works with. They are bound by the enemy and at many times have treated her unfairly. Yet she is broken for them, even spending an hour weeping for these people because they are lost. My friend was living what the Psalmist wrote in 119:136, "My eyes shed streams of tears because people do not keep Your law." She recounted to me her ponderings of whether or nor her life has really made a difference with these people. She has faithfully prayed for her co-workers, purposefully pursued relationship with them, all in an effort to share the love of Christ with them, but she wonders, is it gonna last when she leaves. And she knows that it is the Lord who pursues people and transforms hearts and will continue to work in the lives of these people, drawing them to Himself once she is gone. She just wants to know, if she has been faithful and made a difference.

Well, I don't know what impact she has made on her co-workers (though I am sure it is great), but her heart sure impacted me. I too am a waitress, surrounded by people who do not live in the joy and freedom of life with Jesus. Yet not once have I prayed for the people as CPK. I spent all my time disappointed that I wasn't doing my dream, that I was 'blooming where I was planted.' God placed me in this specific restaurant for a specific purpose and time. I realized in that moment that if I am not intentional now, with the hearts of adults, what makes me think I am going to be intentional once I am a teacher. If I do not pray for my co-workers today, what makes me think I will pray for them once I am in a profession I desire. So clearly I saw that I have not been faithful in with the little God has given now, so there is no way He is going to entrust me with more. Thankfully, He softened my heart to receive this lesson and gave be such a great friend to be an inspiration to me.

I just thought you all might like to know what the Lord is doing in me in this period of waiting. Thank you again for you prayers and support. And thank you my dear friend for being faithful to our Saviour and allowing Him to use you to inspire those around you. I needed it.


A couple PS thoughts:

- Nothing is official yet, but the meeting with the Dream Center was phenomenal and there is potential for partnership soon :)

- Here is the website to the church we have been attending if any of you wanna check it out: http://folcov.org/

- Here is a link to our neighbor's blogspot. They are wonderful people with a beautiful baby girl and are definitely God's gift to us in this time of new beginnings: http://palmerspilgrimage.blogspot.com/