Wasteland

So we have reached that point in the semester, a very familiar point that we reach each semester but always seems to catch me off guard. It is the point when:

1. I wonder why our staff still need our guidance so many times through out the day.
2. I have to daily remind myself that our most veteran-ed staff have only been working with us for three months.
3. many of our students have decided to give up on the semester's work.
4. many students have given up on learning because the material requires just too much thinking.
5. Cami and I spend hours each night discussing how we can do what we do better, but eventually try to intentionally distract ourselves from work so that it doesn't become all consuming.
6. we both begin to wonder if what we are doing is actually making any difference at all.

It's a rough point, but a very familiar point. The point when I begin to wonder if I have the energy to keep bailing buckets in order to keep this boat afloat.

It is my desire to affect change, to help this organization run more effectively and efficiently. But I have reached my limit. There is not much more change I have the authority to make. And unfortunately, I work for such a large organization that my voice is not loud enough to be heard by those who really hold the power. Add to that the fact that they are so far removed from us, they don't understand the impact their decisions have.

This is the point when Jesus reminds me that if I spend my life serving at the Dream Center because He wanted me to meet one person, to love one person, to be His hands and feet to one person, that is a life well spent. I may not be able to build an excellent residential program or develop a good alternative education system for inner city teens. I may not leave any impact on the Dream Center as a whole, but I will have fulfilled my purpose and His call. It is at this point that I remember why it is that I do what I do everyday. Not to leave a legacy, not to influence change, not to make an impact, but to love like He first loved me, to pour out my life in response to His call.

Hosea 2:14-16

"Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the wasteland
and speak tenderly to her.

"There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

"In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master'."

Affective vs. Cognitive

Cami came across this the other day and I could not stop laughing. I vividly remember the moment in my senior year at MBC when I had this same epiphany.

Thank You!

If you would have stopped by our home last Wednesday, this is what you would have seen:
Cami and I spent the entire evening assembling and sorting! YHWH blesses us so abundantly! And as I sat amidst the massive piles thanking YHWH for taking such good care of our child, I realized that we weren't just sitting in our blessing. I was humbled when I realized that we are reaping the benefits of our parents' blessings as well. Both the Potters and Tafallas have dedicated their lives to serving the Lord - as missionaries and pastors. Our parents love to give gifts and have often expressed that they wished they could give more, but as I sat in my living room last Wednesday evening I wondered, "what more could they give?"

So this is my thank you. Thank you mom and dad Potter. Thank you mom and dad Tafalla. Our child is reaping the benefits of your faithful service to our beautiful Lord. Thank you for understanding the value of eternal blessing over material blessing and for the many sacrificing you have made along the way. Thank you for teaching Cami and I what it is to live life surrendered to our most gracious Saviour. Thank you for your commitment and perseverance. Thank you for these many blessings. The four of you are the best parents we could ever ask for. Thank you!

Jehovah Jireh

So last Wednesday was the day and let me just say that God goes way beyond providing for our needs - He spoils us! In addition to all the stuff we were given, the team in the warehouse told us they were low on supplies and would like us to come back in a couple of weeks to get some more and will continue to hook us up throughout the baby's life with whatever we need. So here are the details:

As for everyday essentials we got:
Over 600 wipes
Over 400 diapers
56oz of Bubble bath & Wash
56oz of Head to Toe Wash
27oz of Baby Lotion
22oz Baby Powder
40oz of Baby Shampoo
6 tubes of Desitin
5 bottles, 150 bottle liners, 2 pacifiers
2 Breast pumps, 84 nursing pads
Teething Ring, Munchin Food Processor
An Avent Bottle Sterilizer

And for the really fun stuff we got:
An Eddie Bauer Pack & Play
An Eddie Bauer Booster seat (designed to fit a child from 40-100lbs)
A $130 High Chair (we saw it at Target the other day)
A Jogging Stroller (just happens to be the very one we registered for)
A beautiful Bassinet
An Activity Seat

But we also got:
A new living room rug
A dehumidifier
An excellent new vacuum
A shelving set
And an air mattress (for when everyone comes to see our little one)

In addition, my brother and his wife welcomed a little boy into the world yesterday (!!!!!) and we are able to bless them with a infant car seat and travel bed.

And because pictures are always fun (and I am really proud of myself).......
Cami, one of our students and I summitted Mt. Baldy on Monday - a 6.5 mile hike with nearly 4000ft of elevation gain.

Me and one of our students on the way up

Taking in the view

Pregnant pose on the Summit

Authority

Sorry there was no post last week, we were in Phoenix at a conference. But through some conversations we had while there, Cami and I have been wrestling through some ideas about authority.

Before I get started I want to say that I am not exactly sure how I want to say what I am about to say. So I hope it all makes sense as I try to share some recent musings with all of you.

The Dream Center is good at many things and not very good at other things, but one area that the Dream Center really shines. This organizations is excellent at teaching its disciples the value of honoring your authority. I have always been a fairly compliant person and have never really struggled with authority issues, so I didn't think I had much to learn in this area (conceited I know) but I have learned so much about what it means to honor authority since working at the Dream Center. And for that I am very grateful. It is refreshing to be a part of a community that values this principle so much.
From my experience, I do not believe that the American church is very good at this principle. Especially when the authority figure is not a Christian, but doesn't the Bible say that ALL authority is appointed by God......I am not sure about you, but all includes non-Christians in my mind. So why is it that if I believe God is telling me to do something: like change positions, or start new programs, etc. (not ethical issues, that adds other dynamics) yet my boss is not in alignment that many would say that I am justified in continuing down the path I feel God has told me to pursue. Do I not believe that God is capable, do I not believe that He can change the heart of my authority. The example of Moses and Pharaoh comes to mind. When it was time, Pharaoh released them and God was greatly glorified. Generations later Rahab said, I have heard of your God and what He can do, I don't want to defy Him. Moses did not leave until Pharaoh released him, until god softened Pharaoh's heart. What has changed? God hasn't.
I am sure I could continue to unpack these thoughts, but I must admit that a blog is a weird place to share such ideas. So I think I will stop for now, though I would love to talk with any of you about this further :)

Oh! But before I go, tomorrow Cami and I get to go "shopping". The Dream Center gets thousands of dollars worth of donations from different companies. Those donations are stored in a warehouse before they are distributed to the community, but tomorrow Cami and I get to go through the warehouse and pick out whatever we WANT. They were very specific that we should not only take what we need, but what we want as well. Just another reminder that God is our Jehovah Jireh!

So here are some pictures of the "nursery" (a.k.a. the other half of our dining room) but more furniture will be added tomorrow!!!

From the living room looking into our dining room/nursery


From the dining room into the nursery.
As you can kind of see in the background there is a nice sized closet in the nursery also.

And finally from the hallway into the nursery

Baby, baby, baby!

As of yesterday I am officially 6 months pregnant ~ 26 weeks and 1 day for those of you who want specifics :) We have entered the third trimester and the nesting has really begun. I try not to let baby dominate our conversation, but with all the motion going on in my lower abdomen, our little one makes it hard for me to think about anything else. But I will try....

School is going well. It is now the third week of school and I think we are all getting into the groove of the new schedule. Our new teachers are still here praise the Lord - the first month always is the make it or break it mark and we seem to be standing strong.

Oscar came to church again on Sunday. Then he and Cami went for a bike ride on the beach. We are so blessed that he is still pursuing relationship with us and hoping that Sundays will continue to be a day we can spend together.

There have not been many additions to the "nursery" since last week, but we did get a friend to agree to paint a large tree on the wall for us. I was going to post pictures of where we currently are, so you can all experience the progression, but the camera got left at work. So perhaps we will post some tomorrow :)

A New Year...

Sometimes it seems that things change behind your back.

You've been busy working on some other project in some separate corner of your life, and when you return, nothing looks the same.

In many ways, that is the value of a blog. It lets you sit down and think to yourself, "hmmm...what has happened since the last time that I wrote?" It forces you to notice the changes, to become aware of the things that so quickly become routine.

Since we last posted (I use the royal we, since I - Cami - haven't posted in probably over a year) school has started, Oscar has moved out, and the baby room is beginning to take shape.

School is always a handful. As much as we plan and prepare beforehand, it seems that the game is always changing seconds before kickoff. This year, we changed the schedule to make it possible for 3 teachers to teach 12 classes and constantly supervise 35 kids. Then, after a week of classes, one of the teachers decides that he doesn't want to work with unmotivated kids anymore, and quits....via text message...15 minutes before the beginning of school. I'm not sure what your momma taught you, but if she didn't teach you how to quit properly, call her up and ask her how it's done. You should know. Really...

So now we get to figure out how 2 teachers, with some administrators helping out, can handle the school. That will be interesting.

Oscar left. We made an agreement that he wanted to be treated like an adult and pay rent, $50/month, to live here. He hasn't paid in 3 months, moreover, he decided that he wasn't interested in paying or working something out for it. It seems that he had gotten tired of trying to become a new man. He stopped coming to church, stopped visiting his baby momma, and baby, and would drive down to South Central to hang out rather than look for work.

Since leaving about a week ago, we did see Oscar at church this Sunday. He seems to be doing okay, and seems less hardened than he was a week earlier. The Lord doesn't give up on His kids. That's one of the ways I really want to be more like Him. Never giving up. Being just, being merciful, being strict, being gracious. I feel like I can't hold on to all of those. Like I'm trying to juggle them and can only hold on to 2 while I'm throwing the other 4 around. Ah, how unsearchable His wisdom, how far my thoughts and ways are from His.

Baby room. This is Deidre's new passion. She is the definition of a pregnant nest-er. We have been to IKEA twice in the last 2 days. We've put up curtains, assembled bookcases, arranged stuffed animals, and organized parts of the house that I haven't seen in months. I didn't know that the nesting carried over into other areas of the house as well; found that out the hard way. I'll have to bring my "A" game to all my household chores for the next couple of months :)

The baby room is starting to look like a room, which is a big first step for us, seeing as how it used to be part of the dining room. We'll have to put up some pictures when we get a chance. I'm sure that all the die-hard fans that have read this far are going to be interested in seeing what we've got. I must say that Ro inspired the dividers, which look good (lil' shout out to the homey Ro). The dividers are ceiling to floor length curtains, which are definitely Lily's favorite part of the house right now. She's taken to curling up on them.

On a separate, ending note. Deidre and I were thinking about applying for WIC. I'm not sure if I'm a fan of WIC or not. Government welfare vs. going it on our own. We definitely qualify financially for it. Just not sure if we qualify morally. Free money? Responsibility? Anyway, we'd love some feedback and advice if you've got any.

Cheers
C & D